The
woman you sleep with gazes into your eyes and tells you she loves you.
And you believe her. You can tell by the way she looks at you, the way
she holds you, the way she seems to always know what you want before you
do.
There are a couple of things in life you just know, and love and this naked woman are two of them.
But there are a lot of things you don't know.
A woman may give you her body and her heart, but there are parts that she'll never give up. Pieces woven into the very fiber of her being. Mysteries only hinted at in a passing sly smile, an inscrutable laugh. These are the secrets of lovers past, hidden fantasies, and unshared longings. A woman's deepest secrets that don't—and never will—include you.
A woman may give you her body and her heart, but there are parts that she'll never give up. Pieces woven into the very fiber of her being. Mysteries only hinted at in a passing sly smile, an inscrutable laugh. These are the secrets of lovers past, hidden fantasies, and unshared longings. A woman's deepest secrets that don't—and never will—include you.
You're about to sample this hidden knowledge. But like any
man who seeks, you'd better be prepared for what you're about to find.
1. My Best Friend Knows Everything
My best friend knows everything. She
knows all of your vitals—from the size of your bank account to the size
penis—and she knows how both compare with those of every other man I've
ever dated. I have done a hand-comparison measurement so I can divulge
size and girth with a high level of accuracy. When my friend smirks at
you knowingly, you are not imagining it. She knows. So just know that
she knows, and deal with it.
2. I Lie About My Number
I'll never tell you exactly how many
men I've slept with. No matter how sincere I appeared when I answered
your question, chances are I wasn't. As an unscientific guideline, when a
woman says she's slept with four men, the real number is actually
closer to seven. Her fib is partly intentional (she doesn't want to
appear a whore), but mostly it's séxual amnesia. When a woman wants to
pretend an encounter never occurred, she simply scraps the man from her
official score sheet. Common excuses that lead to such an omission: The
actual séx lasted only a few thrusts; or she was drunk or on the
rebound.
3. I Fantasized About You
I fantasized about being with you at least a dozen times before we actually first got naked.
4. I Compare You to My Exes
I still think about my ex-boyfriends and compare them to you. Mostly you win. Sometimes not.
When I say, "I'm ready," I'll need
exactly 7 more minutes to get ready. Don't try to cheat the system by
showing up 7 minutes later; I will still need an extra 7 minutes.
6. You've Made Me Cry
You've made me cry more times than you'll ever know.
7. I Like When You Call
I obsess about when you're going to
call me again. The period of time between our first date and your
"Thanks for a great night; when can I see you again?" always seems
stretched into slow motion. So don't worry about looking too eager.
Call. Even if you only wait until noon the day after, it will feel like a
lifetime to me.
8. I Want You to Talk a Little Dirty
I want you to talk a little dirty in bed.
9. I'm Constantly Testing You
I'm constantly testing you. I observe,
analyze, and judge every action, word, gesture, e-mail, and facial
expression. When I ask you if you want to have a threesome, I don't mean
it. If you want me to speak to you again, let alone sleep with you
after this conversation, the answer should always be, "Why would I want
to sleep with another woman when I have you?"
10. I Need to Know You Want Me
I need constant indications that you
want me around. That's why it's better, for example, to say, "I want you
to come away with me for the weekend. Could you come with me?" than to
ask, "What are you up to this weekend?"
Source: MensHealth
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