I
was brought up not enjoying some of those things people of my age
enjoyed. I used a pair of shoes for years, patched my school skirts on
different places, and shared a bottle of coke with my sister. My dad did
his best in his own little way, but we wished things were different
from what they were. My parents did love each other no doubt; but they
had their terrible moments. Who says money is not relevant in terms of
building a happy home? My dad gave my mum all the affection and love a
woman could ever ask for; but not so when it came to providing the best
things money could buy.
Who
says you can’t have it all; money, love, and happiness? That was the
exact question my mum asked me the very day I completed my secondary
education in Aba. She advised me not to marry based on love alone
because she no longer considered that to be enough in marriage. She
advised me to be careful when choosing a man to settle down with as my
happiness in the future depended heavily on taking the right decisions. I
didn’t ignore her words that morning, and moved swiftly to ask God to
bring me the man that would provide all I needed to be happy my way
.
From
then on, every man that came my way was viewed from material
perspective alone. It had to be money or what you can provide before
love. Love didn’t matter much because it won’t guarantee or put food on
my table when I wake up in the morning or before I go to bed every
night. Love did sustain my parents for over twenty years; but not
without fighting over money for food, clothes, and other domestic
necessities.
My
wish or prayer for a rich husband did come to pass as my parents
eventually gave my hand in marriage to Okechukwu a few years after my
mum asked me that question. Though, my dad was a bit sceptical about the
man I wanted to get married to at first; my mum was able to convince
him. Okechukwu and I got married and immediately relocated to Port
Harcourt where he continued his business (he sells auto spare parts).
Okechukwu
was unable to complete his secondary education before dropping out of
school; but this was not a problem for me at first. I just wanted a man
who could provide for my basic needs, and extend a hand of benevolence
to my parents as well; and I found one in him. Well, I also didn’t
conclude my education because I didn’t go back for my HND program due to
lack of money. My parents were able to extract a promise from my
husband that he would help me complete my education as soon as we
settled down. He did fulfil his promise though, as he successfully
secured a place for me to start my HND program. However, securing me a
place in the polytechnic didn’t come on a platter as my husband insisted
that I had to go to school everyday with his sister hanging around the
school premises to watch and track my movements. He did this because of
some of the stories flying around about how undergraduate live their
lives while on campus. It got to a stage when I couldn’t take it anymore
and had to complain. He said I either do it his own way or forget about
going to school again. Finally I bowed to his wish and continued going
to school with an escort; but that was only the beginning of things to
come.
The
problem with my husband is that he is way too jealous and is always on
my case because he feels that my decision to return to school is a
threat to him as a man. Things are beginning to get out of hand because
even with all the beautiful furniture, nice and quiet apartment, and
cosy environment; there is nothing to be happy about. I can’t go out on
my own I can’t make or receive calls without my husband getting jealous,
and I can’t even spend a few minutes longer than necessary without
having to face a panel at home. I am 4 months pregnant as I write this;
and yet my husband treats me like a nobody just because he can’t seem to
tame his jealousy. My fear is, if Okechukwu is doing all these now that
I am still in my first semester of HND1; what happens when I graduate
and want to go for my youth service? My husband calls my family all
sought of names because he feels he spent above his expectations during
our traditional marriage. I am just fed up, and I feel like running away
from this slavery that is called marriage.
Dear
readers, please what should I do? I know I had a have a hand in what is
happening to me; but is there nothing I can do to bring peace, love,
and happiness to my home? Please I need your advice.
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